Cringe is a capitalist construct. Dismantle it.
Cringe is imposed on us by capitalist giants, but they rely on us self policing others to have control. Don't let them use you to control others authentic joy. Break free.
Cringe is a capitalist construct. It’s designed to corral us into submission ‘secretly’. We owe the ‘success’ of ‘cringe’ to ourselves. Cringe culture existed before the internet but the internet allowed it to spread at rapid speed. It transformed and became a human spread virus that shackles our minds.
The word first originated from the Old English word: cringan. A verb that meant:
Sometime in the 16th Century, cringan became cringe, which introduced feelings of fear, embarrassment. ‘Falling’ or ‘yielding’ became ‘bending’ or ‘crouching’.
Our contemporary definition of cringe, to “recoil in embarrassment, shame, or fear,” cemented itself in society by the 19th Century. Its expansion from verb to verb, noun, adjective is what gives ‘cringe’ the power to cause mass submission.
Google’s AI says:
“Cringe" refers to something that is considered very embarrassing or awkward, often causing a physical reaction of recoiling or grimacing, like an overly enthusiastic public display of affection, an outdated fashion choice, overly cheesy jokes, or a person trying too hard to be cool, which can vary depending on social context and personal perception; essentially, anything that makes someone feel uncomfortable or embarrassed to witness.
If this doesn’t scream outlandish and controlling, perhaps reading the final section again will have you scream ‘fuck cringe’ out of your window or down your street at the top of your lungs:
‘[this] can vary depending on social context and personal perception, anything that makes someone feel uncomfortable or embarrassed to witness.’ is
The problem with ‘cringe’ is it’s impossible to keep up with because it doesn’t actually exist. The word means what we perceive it to mean based on who we allow to have power over our autonomy. In high school that might have been whoever was appointed (or self-appointed), ‘the cool kids’, in your first job it’s perhaps the group that’s been there and ‘established’ the longest, it’s often the group that pulls others down to big themselves up. Don’t beat yourself up if that’s been or is you, just notice it, accept it and push past it. It’s incredibly easy to get sucked into shit laughing at someone’s expense when ‘everyone’s’ doing it. It’s harder to go against the grain but that’s where we really learn what makes us tick, what sets our souls on fire.
So in a world that’s screaming at us to conform (in the name of *capitalism*) through the media, our social media, our jobs and friendships, breaking free from the restraints of ‘cringe’ is an act of protest.
A short, and by no means complete list, of things you could do to start chipping away at your cringe fear:
Dance to your music whilst waiting to cross the road, in your seat on the bus, whilst walking to work…
Wear what you want, not because it’s ‘on trend’, but because you want to.
Sing along to your music whilst walking.
Belly laugh.
Unashamedly share your art, writing, videos, vlogs, blogs…
Listen to 'that’ band you secretly like but your friends say are rubbish out loud.
Take yourself to breakfast/lunch/dinner.
Wear the same clothes on multiple nights out because it doesn’t matter that you’ve already been ‘seen’ in that outfit.
Display your affection for others publically (platonic or romantic* love)
* if you are privileged enough to live somewhere it’s safe to share your authentic love.Smile at strangers when you walk past them on the street.
Go to the cinema/a gig/insert option here, alone.
Laugh at your own jokes.
Gush over the smallest of things.
Read your book, not your phone whilst you go for a walk.
Who gives a fuck if people do or feel any of the following if you’re doing something that you enjoy for you. It’s not for them. It’s time to allow others to be associated with the words below and realise that’s their problem, not yours. If someone wants to wince or squirm because you unashamedly put your art out into the world, wore what you wanted, took yourself out to dinner, danced your way along the street… let them.
I’d rather someone winces with embarrassment because I’ve danced my way through the city streets than wince with embarrassment at my own desire to do so.
I vividly remember the first time I danced through the streets of Edinburgh. It was a roasting hot spring day in 2020 and I took myself on a long walk as cabin fever was setting in during the height of the pandemic.
I was listening to Only if For a Night by Florence + the Machine on repeat. As I was climbing the steps from the Grassmarket to Edinburgh Castle I suddenly I had the urge to move, to spin, to laugh out fucking loud… to let go and I knew it was now or never. I know the deserted streets had a huge part to play in me feeling brave enough to do it (isn’t it mad that even though I couldn’t see another soul I still had to push past fear to do what I wanted… in fact, needed to do), but I finally danced and spun and laughed my way around Edinburgh Castle’s esplanade for what felt like an eternity. In that moment, at a time when positivity was hard to come by, I was so full of joy. I often wonder if anyone saw me dancing my way through the city that day. If they did, I hope it brought them the same joy it brought me.
Do I still care what people think about me, or occasionally worry if someone thinks it’s odd that I’m doing little twirls as I walk with my headphones on? Of course I do. I’m human. But with each act of self-care, cringe rebellion I care/cringe a little bit less. It’s not about being perfect. Perfect does not exist. It’s about showing up for yourself one step or mini cringe protest at a time.
If you’re privileged enough to live freely in this world, it’s time to stop simply existing and start learning who you really are and what truly matters. Who knows, your acts of cringe protest might just be the encouragement someone else needs to break free from the constraints of cringe conformity too.
What’s something you really want to do, but you’ve stopped yourself from doing because you’re scared someone will laugh or talk about you for it? Tell me, a total stranger, in the comments and then… do it!
Sometimes saying it out loud is all we need to hold ourselves accountable.